Friday, April 19, 2013

Just Be Nice!



This post has been a long time coming I just didn't realize it, until today......

I am a SAHM to 4 amazing little boys, I love them with all my heart and soul, they are the reason I was put on this earth.  With that said, I am a very protective Mama and when my children, myself or  my parenting come under attack I am naturally upset.  Sadly in today's day and age, many people feel it is OK to simply speak their mind and do not consider how it may make others feel, I am often the  recipient of unwanted comments, advice or blatant stares. I don't take as much offense to the "God Bless Yous" or " My your hands are full" comments it's the often rude, unsolicited one's that bother me. Please don't tell me how to raise my child, or ask me why I have so many kids....neither is any of your concern.

This morning my two" little" boys and I were  at COSTCO, my son was upset with me and acting a bit stubborn (no screaming or crying) he was just standing in the way of a woman in line behind us, I said to him "Honey please move up so the woman behind us can unload her cart" he refused and I went to move him at that time she proceeded to say (to my 2 1/2 year old son) "Someone needs a whooping" I was shocked and appalled! I told her that how I discipline my children is none of her concern and that she needs to mind her own business or that better yet why not offer some kind words of encouragement? instead of making unwarranted comments. More was said by her, I won't get into details but both my son and I literally left in tears..he was crying and saying "I am sorry Mama, don't cry Mama".........unacceptable that we were made to feel like that by someone else's cruel actions.

Now I am not saying I am a perfect parent or that my kids are the best behaved at all times, ( although more often than not I do get compliments on their good manners and behavior) I am saying that we all have bad days, off days or rough the above situation my son was upset because he wanted the Wreck it Ralph DVD.....(we already have the DVD at home and he didn't understand why I said No, I wouldn't buy it) he is 2 1/2! he is still just a little person learning right from wrong. It is my job to guide and teach my children the best I can with caring, kindness, age appropriate rules and guidelines... not physical punishment! 

I am seriously thinking of printing out a little note and keeping copies in my purse to hand to those people who feel the need to make comments. It would read a little something like this.

Dear Sir or Madam,

Thank YOU for judging and loudly commenting on my child's behavior, my parenting, how many children I have, or whatever else we have done to warrant your attention.  Since YOU took the time to point out all of our misgivings YOU must have perfect children, and are yourself a perfect person or perhaps it's simply been awhile since YOU have had small children and don't recall how it can sometimes be hard to grocery shop, or run an errand and keep everyone 100% happy ( even though I am doing my best to raise well behaved/mannered children. Well I have some advice for YOU. 

  • STOP, and really LOOK, you will see that I am a mother doing my best to raise a smart, sweet, polite child, LISTEN- I am explaining/teaching my child how to behave. I am 100% present in this moment and while I am not enjoying it anymore than you are, this is a learning experience in social behavior for my child, help me teach them by setting a good example yourself, be kind to another human being, I am doing my best job as a parent, whether you agree with how I am doing it or not.
  • SMILE! it may help put me at ease (it is already tense when a child/children are having a rough time) show some remember these days right?
  • Walk away, if my child is truly bothering you that much by all means pick another check out lane
  •  Hold your breath, bite your tongue, count to ten.....I don't care what you have to do but please keep your comments to yourself.
Thank you for your cooperation in this matter, have a terrific day!

The ****** Family

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

The "Me" in Mommy

Once again I am joining these fabulous ladies in their "Build Em Up" blog post series, today's topic is "Remembering You" taking care of yourself and keeping your identity. This topic couldn't have come at a better a busy stay at home mom to 4 boys I have been totally immersed in motherhood for 10 years...I am very good at making sure everyone else is taken care of, not so much myself.  Don't get me wrong, I cover the basics for myself, I shower,get dressed and eat everyday day but beyond that I have a hard time saying "yes" to myself and "no" to others and I realize that is not a healthy way to be or set as an example for my I am making some changes:

  • I joined a gym yesterday ( I belonged to one before #3 & #4 were born and I loved it) I need/want to get healthy so I can be around for many years for my boys and feel better about myself in general, I am also trying to make a more conscious effort to break free of my "mommyform" (aka mom uniform) of yoga pants/leggings and whatever baggy shirt is clean, hair in a pony, no a more polished appearance-I am wearing "real clothes", makeup, doing my hair (and nails) and it makes me feel put together and pretty 

  • mandatory date night once a month(we started doing this about 2 months ago)  it's amazing what a few hours and a meal alone can do for our moods/relationship

  • girl time-also at least once a month I meet a friend/s (usually another mom!) for lunch, coffee, happy hour,shopping or whatever else appeals to us

  • alone time-I sometimes need just the "quiet" I will grab a Starbucks and just sit, sip and breathe, or browse/window shop Home Goods/Target/the local resale/thrift shops for clearance goodies.

  • read, bake/cook a new recipe, diy something-anything to get my mind working/accomplish something other than the day to day routine

  • blog-I am slowly finding my groove......:-)